Oh The Fun Of It!

I don't want to make light of anyone's misery but I've never been anyone to walk away from a joke either. How could I walk away from the situation I'm about to write about when you hear what it is? My husband was scheduled for a routine endoscopy and a colonoscopy, Now on the surface, neither one of these procedures are funny or anything to write home about. However, none of you have my husband for a husband. Let's just say the family name continues thanks to the good sense that God made woman the sex that carries children. Now, the procedures themselves were not what gave my husband concern. It was the preamble to the procedures that had him in dire straits. You see for a day prior to the work being done, he had to limit his diet to Jello, clear broth, water, and black coffee or tea. If you knew my husband you would already know why this last sentence would strike fear in my heart.
The day before the procedures, I, by his request, made a homemade pot of chicken soup and one of beef soup. I took care to leave the vegetables and the meat whole so they wouldn't contaminate the broth. I also made a variety of Jello so he would have choices. Of course, coffee and tea is always available. You have to realize how important food is to my husband! I think if he were given a choice, he would have chosen giving up a limb rather than giving up food. At any rate....he started his day with a Jello. This was followed by several more Jellos and almost an entire pot of chicken soup. He did not stop once. Throughout all of this sipping and slurping he lamented continuously about how hungry he was. Myself and my kids hid in corners to eat morsels of bread, taking care not to call attention to ourselves as we were eating. Finally, by dinner time, he crawled to the table in exhausted hunger to begin polishing off the beef soup. At around 11 in the evening I went to bed but only to wake up to all the empty Jello bowls surrounding the kitchen. Thank heavens it was the morning of the procedure. His spirits were high as he anticipated what he could eat in just a few short hours. Should he start with a meatball wedge? Maybe a deli sandwich? He was now able to recite every commercial on TV that had anything remotely to do with food. This says a lot for product placement! Even as I was dropping him off at the hospital annex he was reminding me about how I should pick up Chinese food and exactly what he wanted.
Pleased to report that everything came back fine. The patient had the bad news of realizing that the Chinese restaurant was not yet open so I had to forestall his hunger with scrambled eggs, toast, coffee, and a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Thank the Lord above a half hour after this, the restaurant did open and he feasted on chicken with vegetables, egg rolls, and pork friend rice. At least it gave me a little time to relax before late lunch time. Whew, I don't think I could survive these damn tests again! I'm tired.